Did you hear that thieves broke into the Western Province trophy room last night?
Police are appealing for information on the whereabouts of a glass cabinet and a carpet.
All eyes are on the knock out games this weekend when the FS Cheetahs face the EP Kings, the Sharks host the Blue Bulls and the Golden Lions play WP, so let’s start there.
FS Cheetahs vs EP Kings:
Most people expect the Cheetahs to comfortably dispatch the Kings tonight but they should beware, the Kings beat the Free State in the Vodacom Cup and while a full strength and on form Cheetahs team should have no problems beating the Kings that is not the case for a team decimated by injuries and in poor form. Don’t be surprised if the Kings take the first play off match.
A Cheetahs supporter will be in Bloem for the weekend and have nothing better to do so he thought he’d go and support his team against the Kings and phones the stadium. “Is there still some space?” he asks.
“Yes”, came the reply, “what position do you play?”
Sharks vs Blue Bulls:
The Sharks are playing most of their Boks off the bench and this may just cost them against a full strength Blue Bulls side. Playing catch up rugby is the last thing they want and Plumtree’s gamble may backfire.
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, “What is your IQ?” to which the man answers “241.”
“That’s wonderful!,” says Albert. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!”
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, “What is your IQ?” To which the lady answers, “144.”
“That is great!,” responds Albert. “We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!”
Albert goes to another person and asks, “What is your IQ?” to which the man answers, “51.”
Albert responds, “So, what do you reckon happened to the Blue Bulls?”
Golden Lions vs WP:
I have already done my match preview in the previous post but the latest news is that Hollenbach is fit to start at #12 while CJ van der Linde will be on the bench with Pat Cilliers missing out this time. The Lions have two very good front rows and unfortunately not all of them can be in the match 22. Alwyn Hollenbach will play in his 100th first class game.
Some Province supporters die and go to hell. The devil notices that they’re quite happy, and asks them why. They explain “After the lousy weather in Cape Town, we actually enjoy the warmth.”
The devil thinks “I’ll fix them” and turns up the heat. He finds the them with their shirts off enjoying a snoek on the braai and having papsak “Whenever the weather gets this good in Cape Town, we can’t waste it, so this is what we do”
The devil decides to wipe the smile off their faces by turning the heat down to freezing. He returns to the province fans to find them celebrating.
“What now?” he asks.
One explains “Well, when hell freezes over, we’re sure to win the Currie Cup”
On Friday Andries Strauss will try and help the Cheetahs keep his new team, the Kings, in the lower division of the Currie Cup while three of the Lions (Elton Jantjies, Jaco Taute and Michael Rhodes) will try to stop their new team for 2013 progress any further in the Currie Cup.
By now this is old news already but hats off for a warrior who remained loyal through trying times. Cobus Grobbelaar played nearly 250 matches for the Lions from u/16 level up, and stuck with the union after the 2009 player revolt and mass defections, captained the Lions through their disasterous 2010 winless Super Rugby campaign and survived John Mitchell’s purge at the start of his tenure. Having won the Currie Cup with the Lions last year he will, hopefully, get another opportunity next weekend.
Ex-Lion Josh Strauss:
Josh Strauss scored his first try over the weekend for his new team, Glasgow Warriors, against the Northampton Saints and was awarded MOTM in his first Heineken Cup game. Unfortunately this was not enough to help his team win the match as they threw away a 15-0 lead to lose 24-15.
What do you do for a drowning WP rugby player?
Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he’ll choke anyway
With his arbitration hearing still dragging on it seems Mitch is ready to take on the coaching job at the Sale Sharks. According reports he is spending some time at the club and attended their match against Cardiff Blues, he might travel to France with the squad for their match against Montpellier.
u/21 semi finals:
The u/21 semi finals this weekend feature the Sharks vs WP in Durban and the Blue Bulls vs the Cheetahs in Pretoria. The Lions just missed out to make it a clean sweep for the four unions competing in the seniors and u/19 semi finals.
u/19 semi finals:
The u/19 semi finals feature the same teams as the seniors albeit with roles and home venues reversed . WP plays the Lions in Stellenbosch while the Blue Bulls plays the Sharks in Pretoria.
2012 National Amateur:
The Golden Lions (Northern Amateur champions) plays WP (Southern Amateur champions) at Coca Cola Park in the curtain raiser to the Currie Cup semi finals. Both teams have already played and won against Griquas (Central Amateur champions) and the match will decide the 2012 National Amateur champion.
Why did Naka Drotske go to a ball dressed as a pumpkin?
Because he hoped when the clock struck midnight he would turn into a coach
Varsity Cup Preparations:
Both UJ and Wits have recruited well in the off seaon in preparation for next year’s Varsity Cup, Wits’s first year in the top competition.
UJ recruited four of the Lions’ 2012 u/20 Boks in flyhalf Marais Schmidt, scrumhalf Vian van der Watt, eigthman Fabian Booysen and hooker Mark Pretorius. They have also signed national club champions College Rovers’ fullback, Kobus de Kock, who played Sharks age group rugby and played in Vodacom Cup for the Sharks in 2011.
Varsity Cup rookies Wits is also working hard at strengthening their team for the higher level competition, having been promoted from the Varsity Shield.
2011 Lions u/21 and UJ winger, Jacques Erasmus, 2010 Lions Craven Week and 2011 WP u/19 flyhalf Kazlo Holtzhauzen, 2011Lions u/21number eight Carel Greeff and current Lions u/21 prop Jacques Kotzé have all joined Wits together with 2012 Scotland u/20 scrumhalf Matt Torrance.
Having two universities in the Varsity Cup definitely benefit the Lions and help them retain some of their best young players.
An Durban schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a Sharks fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Sharks fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, “Janie, why didn’t you raise your hand?” “Because I’m not a Sharks fan,” she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Well, if you are not a Sharks fan, then who are you a fan of?” “I am a Lions fan, and proud of it,” Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. “Janie, why are you a Lions fan?” “Because my mum is a Lions fan, and my dad is a Lions fan, so I’m a Lions fan too!”
“Well,” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “That is no reason for you to be a Lions fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?”
“Then,” Janie smiled, “I’d be a Sharks fan.”