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Friday Funnies

May 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

Funnies to light up your weekend

Enjoy the rugby!

Power Rankings #15: Highlanders

At least the Highlanders are showing creativity, imagination and quite stunning commitment when it comes to finding different ways to lose. The most peculiar thing about their season is that here they are with just one victory from their star-studded squad and not a peep about sacking the coach. Who knows whether sacking Jamie Joseph is a good idea or not – but for form’s sake, more people should be suggesting it.

A customer asked… “In what aisle could I find the Blou Bul wors?”
The clerk asks…”Are you a Blue Bull supporter?”
The guy, clearly offended says… “Yes I am, but let me ask you something.
“If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
… Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?”
The clerk says…”No,I probably wouldn’t.”
The guy says…”Well then, because I asked for Blou Bul wors… “Why did you ask me if I’m a Blue Bull Supporter?”
The clerk replied…”Because you’re in Builders Warehouse”…

I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said “Hi!, how are you?”

Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”

The voice said “So what are you up to?”

I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”

From next door, “Can I come over?”

Annoyed, I said, “rather busy right now”

The voice said, “Listen, i will have to call you back, there’s an…

Power Rankings #12: Stormers

In the 1980s England became rather fond of picking the self-styled hard man Micky Skinner. He named himself Mick the Munch and produced videos of his best work way before anyone else was even thinking about self-promotion. But Skinner was a blow-hard – he would famously arrive at any stramash [fight] way after the real hard men had actually sorted it out. He’d flounce around with his mullet, snorting and threatening but no one took him seriously. The Stormers are way too much like Micky Skinner.

Power Rankings #9: Sharks

This is going to be a season of ‘if only’ for the Sharks. If only they ran the ball a bit more in Durban. If only they weren’t convinced that Pat Lambie is so good when he appears to be so limited. If only Frans Steyn could lose a bit of weight and find a better attitude. If only they hadn’t lost to the Highlanders. Actually, of all the if only scenarios, that last one is the most painful.

Water into wine

More Power Rankings from New Zealand Herald: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=10887317

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