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Friday Funnies

May 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

Funnies and some of the New Zealand Herald Power Rankings for Week 12

Enjoy the weekend!

Power Rankings #2 – Chiefs

The Chiefs are justifiably angry about being victims of plain stupid TMO decisions made worse by Sanzar’s pompous and ludicrous defence that it’s okay to fling the ball forward as long as you appear to have attempted to have thrown it backwards. How confusing and nonsensical is that? Probably as baffling as the reasons the Chiefs still can’t find the same killer touch and intensity they had for nearly all of last year. Still, by Sanzar’s logic, as long as they appear to be attempting to win the title, they may be granted it regardless.

Video: Top 5 Bombed Tries Of All Time

An old joke paraphrased:

A Lion rugby supporter is having a quiet drink in a bar, leans over to the big guy next to him and says: “Do you wanna hear a Blue Bulls joke?”The big guy replies: “Well, mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m six feet tall, 105 kgs and I played rugby as a forward for the bulls. The guy sitting next to me is 6″2″, weighs 115 kgs and he’s an ex bulls lock. Next to him is a bloke who’s 6″5″, weighs 120kgs
and he’s a current blue bulls second rower. Now, do you still want to tell that Blue Bulls joke?”

The Lion supporter says: “Nah, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”

Weird!

Jean de Villiers: “I feel the cohesion between Juan and myself is getting better and better and is growing as a combination.” After how long? No wonder the Stormers have struggled to score tries!

Tattoos – you get what you pay for

I really don’t hate the Sharks

Kings Park is getting a new name sponsor, the Joburg company Growthpoint Properties, and will be known as Growthpoint Kings Park. That is a misnomer as the Sharks games have steadily been losing support at the field since 2011 and now draw less spectators per game that the Lions did in 2011 and 2012. Ellis Park by the Sea would have been more appropriate.

Workers seen painting Kings Park’s new name before the official announcement

Wise man was Einstein but even he was wrong sometimes

Power Rankings #3 – Reds

There are such fine lines in sport. The Reds were outclassed by the Blues two weeks ago yet scrapped away for a win to earn enormous accolades. Last week they were outclassed by the Force and scrapped away for a draw to earn serious derision and a whole heap of questions about just what on earth they were doing for 80 minutes.

Power Rankings #5 – Crusaders

Was victory against the Brumbies a genuine revival or a dead cat bounce? It’s increasingly hard to tell just what the Crusaders are all about this year as they tend to follow the sublime with the ridiculous. One thing indisputable – with Dan Carter at the helm they are an infinitely better team: watch him build his form ahead of the French series and in doing so, drag the Crusaders up the table.

Power Rankings #9 – Waratahs

The Waratahs have to go from facing the worst defensive side in the competition to the best. They have to go from South Africa to Australia to take on that particular challenge as well. That’s a bit like having to climb Mount Cook in your undies – phenomenally difficult yet no one will really ever appreciate just what it took to achieve.

Power Rankings #10 – Stormers

Stormers coach Allister Coetzee reckoned it was highly unusual for a side to score two tries and lose the game. Eh…possibly not that unusual: the Rebels, Hurricanes, Sharks, Brumbies and even the Kings all scored two tries and lost at the weekend. Is this indicative of the level of analysis at the Stormers? Probably not as they seemed to be certain they had a perfect handle on the abilities of the assistant referee they encountered against the Hurricanes. It’s more likely reflective of their mindset that they reckon scoring two tries a game is outrageously creative.

Love is all around us

Power Rankings #14 – Highlanders

The horrible thing about breaking a losing streak is that once the initial elation subsides, the victory brings inevitable regret – as in ‘how come we waited until our season had all the prospects of Aaron Gilmour before we pulled finger and gave the impression that we actually cared? Why didn’t we play like this earlier? Oh why…why…why.’

More Power Rankings: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/rugby/news/article.cfm?c_id=80&objectid=10882570

3 responses to Friday Funnies

  1. Kings Park might be dwindling in numbers, but this team has more fans outside KZN. The Sharks have millions of fans around the world. Joburg and even Pretoria is full of Sharks.I seen fans from USA, Brazil, Mexico,UK and other countries. For locals in Durban to fill that stadium is hard.
    Traditionally, Durban has never been a rugby stronghold until the mid 90’s to the late 90’s. One thing I can say, is that town is football crazy. Everything is football (soccer).

    • That’s true. Sharks fans are all over but the falling numbers at Kings Park must be a worry to the powers that be

      2011 – 29k per game
      2012 – 24k
      2013 – 21k

      Football between top sides is always going to draw more number than rugby

  2. Phil said on May 10, 2013

    Love is all around us – Isn’t that Les Kiss, the defense coach?

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