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Friday Funnies

May 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

Funnies, biker funnies and some New Zealand Herald Power Rankings

Top Five Fatman Tries

Power Rankings #1: Reds
Outclassed for long periods against the Blues and destroyed at the breakdown, the Reds pulled off one of the great victories of the season last week. No one should under-estimate the depth of character and belief it takes to win in those circumstances. When the Crusaders used to dig out those sorts of victories Kiwis revelled in their courage. The Reds do it and we lavish praise on the Blues for getting so close. Hmmm…what last week proved was that the Reds are a seriously good team.

Who’s The Boss?

Power Rankings #5: Blues
As a lover of Italian food John Kirwan will appreciate this. When cooking pasta, you have to put the salt into the boiling water. It can’t be done after the fact. It won’t matter how good the sauce is or how perfect to the bite the pasta is – without the salt, it will always sit a little uneasily on the palate. The Blues produced beautiful sauce against the Reds and got the pasta perfect to the bite. But they forgot the salt.

Spell like dogs too :)

Power Rankings #7: Cheetahs:
Life kind of sucks for the Cheetahs. For three years they have battled to make the jump from promising to threatening. Now they have done it, the rest of the world has come shopping for their players and by the end of the season, their squad could be decimated by foreign predators. Presumably they understand the need to make hay, then, while the sun is shining?

Especially for the Sharks fans.

Power Rankings #11: Waratahs:
“I am very disappointed with the officiating, the communication, the language, the ability to decipher and the correct decisions,” fumed Waratahs coach Michael Chieka after his side lost to the Bulls. The focus of his ire was the Spanish-speaking, Argentinean referee Francisco Pastrana. Bit rough, as by all accounts Pastrana speaks perfect English. Surely he can’t be expected to be tri-lingual and speak Australian as well? Still, if Pastrana needs help defending himself against these allegations, here’s a phrase to run past Chieka: ‘clutching at straws…mate’.

Power Rankings #12: Rebels:
Given his cheap shot last year on His Lordship, it’s not easy to be openly complimentary of Scott Higginbotham. But he was kind of brilliant against the Crusaders, as was James O’Connor and if they could just find 13 more like them, the Rebels would be a welcome addition to Super Rugby rather than an erratic and largely disappointing outfit who have all the impact of elevator music.

Whatcha doin’? Oh, just hanging around.

Power Rankings #13: Kings:
Life’s getting tough for these blokes, sorry, okes now. They welcome back Sergeal Paterson this week – the 18-year-old wing who scored two tries in the opening game. That will please the Port Elizabeth crowd but it is unlikely much else will.

14 responses to Friday Funnies

  1. Keeping in the spirit of your, shall we say, open languaged post, Chieka, you country has a bloke named Chopper, and he would advise you to Harden the Fuck Up! ;)

  2. i like the ‘Who’s the Boss’ one. I’m sure that if Eben Etzebeth and Gio Aplon were room mates on tour, it would look like that.

  3. I think the Lions will knock over the sharks tonight, if not, we are in serious trouble i would say!!!! “serious trouble!”
    Bit of a bummer though that they are not televising it!

    ” GO LIONS!!! “

  4. That Gorilla is going to tear the Lions to Shreds this afternoon

    • Hope not. Just a pity the game isn’t on TV

    • Bwahahaha. Sherrif, i was at the game on friday. Alberts put in a few monster tackles I’ll admit, but he also got his ass handed to him a couple of times too! I was sitting in front of the lions coaching staff, and their comments whenever alberts got the ball led me believe they have no love lost for alberts..

  5. JPvV said on May 3, 2013

    We’ll have to see what that “monkey” does to your lions this weekend

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