A little fun in our BB chatgroup yesterday, had me think back to the days when Andre Joubert was always referred to as the Rolls Royce of Rugby, not just here but abroad as well. So ladies and Gents, allow me to introduce you to my Sharks team facing the Kings on Saturday:
1 Beast Mtwarira (Lamborghini Avantodor)
Just look at this piece of heaven from the Italian Supercar maker. Just like the Beast, this car not only looks like on, but performs so on the track as well. Over 700bhp calls for a lot of power, and the Beast benchpressing over 300kg’s, here is to hoping he has another huge game.
Beast Mtwarira, Lamborghini Aventador
2 Craig Burden (69 Ford Mustang)
Now the reason I pick Craig for this piece of history, is the fact that despite his small size, and considering that he was a wing before, he is easily the fastest Number 2 in World Rugby, and to think that he actually (upon reports in last year) bench presses the most in the entire squad. The Mustang will always remain a special car in any enthusiast mind, brute power and speed, “Eleanor” comes to life when on the track, and so does Craig who has done reasonably since standing in the shoes of Bissie.
Craig Burden 69 Ford Mustang
3 Jannie Du Plessis (Hummer H1)
In my opinion the Doctor had a great 2012, and was my Player of the Year, playing in every Test and one must say improving on previous years. The Doctor is a tough man, as is the Hummer H1, used primarily in the US Army before being sold. The Doctor will look to make this a even better year.
Jannie Du Plessis Hummer H1
4 Anton Bresler (Land Rover Evoque)
Anton is starting to make his name in Super Rugby. Hard as nails, steady on defence and in the air, the Evoque is the “new kid on the block” with regards to SUV’s and took a step back in design from Land Rover, probably because it was designed by Victoria Beckham.
Anton Bresler Land Rover Evoque
5 Franco vd Merwe (Isuzu Bakkie)
Franco has made a massive difference in the front for the Sharks, to whom he is on loan from the Lions. The former Lions skipper has fitted in well, and it’s befitting that he is my choice for South Africa’s most trusted bakkie, Isuzu. Able to handle any terrain, and tough on the outside, it’s no wonder he is doing so well, pity that he hasn’t had sufficient time in the Bok jumper.
6 Marcel Coetzee (Toyota Hilux)
Reliable, check, Tough, check. These two make a perfect fit. Marcel had another good season for club and country and is proving to make a name for himself, don’t be surprised if the Japanese come knocking soon. He will relish this game, and it should be a big one for him.
Marcel Coetzee Toyota Hilux
7 Jean Deysel (Lamborghini Diablo)
Deysel has been around the block, even though he only turned 28 in the week. He showed that given the chance, and when fully fit, he can still give big performances like against the Stormers. The Diablo off course was once the darling of the automotive world, but is still as reliable as ever.
Jean Deysel Lamborgini Diablo
8 Ryan Kankowski (Aston Martin One – 77)
Kankowski has always been known for his sniping runs and his speed. Last year was probably our country’s best Eight Man, but he added more power and physicality to his game which makes him more dangerous. The Aston is their fastest, and probably strongest and look at it! It’s a beauty.
Ryan Kankowski Aston One-77
9 Cobus Reinach (McClaren P1)
The kid had a great year in the Currie Cup last year. He is fast and gutsy (just like his father Jaco Reinach) I think that Cobus will come into his own, yes still lots of work to be done but he can be potentially big in the years to come, as can this car. The 903 bhp Hyper car from McClaren is a beauty, and sure to live a long and successful life like her predecessor the McClaren F1
Cobus Reinach McClaren P1
10 Patrick Lambie (Ferrari LaFerrari)
Pat is the backbone of this team, and if we are to win the amount of games we would need to compete in a home semi/final, we will need him to marshal his troops. Flashy, attacking and poised sums up Pat, cool head on his shoulders and he will need to have a big one on Saturday. So will this car from the Ferrari stable. The car was unveiled at the Geneva Motorshow not so long ago, and with 950 bhp, it is sure to be one of the fastest cars on Earth.
Pat Lambie Ferrari LaFerrari
11 Lwazi Mvovo (Pagani Huayra)
Lwazi is one of our pacemen, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I have picked one of last years new cars, which is also one of the most beautiful you have ever seen as his. Mvovo is strong in the tackle, fast and quickly becoming the more complete winger by not just looking for more work, but becoming better in the air. Let us hope he continues his form.
Lwazi Mvovo Pagani Huayra
12 Francios Steyn (Ford Mustang 2013)
Our skipper is going to have a good year if he stays injury free. I think that he came back a better player, and seems to have matured not just in stature but also as a player. As did the Mustang, the name alone was big in the 70’s but Ford came and after a absence of a few decades bought out the new line Mustangs a few years ago, with more power and this one will be the newer line that has even more fancy gadgets…
Francios Steyn Ford Mustang
13 Paul Jordaan (Bugatti Veyron SS)
I don’t know for sure but would like to think that Paul is our fastest player. Explosive off the mark and a sure eye for a gap, Paul is just growing every week. I hope that he gets space to show what he can do with ball in hand. The Bugatti Veyron pushed the envelope when it was released, pushing out just over 1000 bhp with a top speed of 253 miles the SS version takes the tested speed to over 270miles and with a hefty pricetag of over R10milion, in other words R80 000 for one Tire, it is no surprise that it is such a gem.
Paul Jordaan Bugatti Veyron SS
14 JP Petersen (Mercedes SLS)
Just like the Mercedes, JP is fast, slick and has a wicked turn of speed. JP has been a excellent player not just for club but country as well. A good defender, JP, has always been one of my favourite players since starting at the Sharks a few years ago, also one of the experienced players, closing in on a century of games for the Sharks. Here is to hoping he scores a brace.
JP Petersen Mercedes SLS
15 Louis Ludik (Nissan Skyline GTR-35)
You may think that the new Skyline is a slouch, which Louis is not, but this is the fastest four door car around the Nurberg Ring in Germany in just under 7 minutes which is extraordinary. Ludik has been one of the most consistent performers in not just Super Rugby but World Rugby over the last year. He should have been the Springbok 15 but I hope that he gets his chance this year if he continues his current form.
Louis Ludik Nissan Skyline GTR-35
And they will be playing the Kings.
6 Luke Watson (Fiat Multipla)
If Luke wanted to PUKE on something as beautiful as the Springbok Emblem then I really wouldn’t want to be near him once he is in one of these cars, probably the ugliest car I have ever seen.
Luke Watson…Kaaaaak ugly
There you have it folks, my version of the Sharks teams as Cars. Hope you enjoyed and had a chuckle. Till Later