Trust old Pdivvy to be the only plank in the world (Sorry Oregan Hoskins too) to see any positives out of this tour! Actually, no, wait, so do I. The positive I see out of this is that we know where the problem is and that we have finally figured out how not to play the game (well I am hoping they figured it out).

Everyone could see we sucked this tour. If we had played that rugby during this Tri-nations we wouldn’t have won one game plus we wouldn’t just be beaten, we’d be murdered! But in true Clown style only Pdivvy can step forward and say we played some good rugby. I think he went to school with Malema. They were vying for the position of top idiot.

To Mr De Villiers (trust me I have choicer words for you but I’m scared kids read this – well actually I hope they do so that they can see what kind of a chop you truly are), to come out and say what you just said is a true slap in the face of every Bok supporter in the country! Why can’t you just come out and say we stuffed up and that you apologise. Now you try feed us bull and try and make us believe that the game against England is the game you have been playing all along… what utter crap! Go wash your mouth with soap you bloody imbecile!

How dare you stand there and try and make us feel guilty. You are the poison in the team. Not only the fans see but I am sure most of your players too! You have no pride as a coach and buggerall backbone to admit when you were wrong. As a fan I wish I had the power of Mnet’s Idols show! You’d be voted off first! You are about as popular as Malema and try and feed us the same horse crap he does to his people just in a different arena.

You know your days are numbered and I’m sure we’ll be partying in the streets the day you get your marching orders. If I ever get to meet you face to face you’ll know exactly who I am because I will turn my back to you exactly the same way you are doing to your fan base! What you are doing to our game is way worse than anything Luke Watson ever could do. We the rugby public are not supporters to try and sound smart too and we follow your every word; in fact we definitely know more about the game than you do!

The worst is everything I say hear will be ignored by you because you are too stupid to realise when you are being insulted. Maybe they should open an Ou Toilet page just for you. It will become the most popular page in seconds!

So to Mr De Villiers (choicer words omitted),

Up yours!

Cheers,

Mark

PS: SARU – you too!

Boy do I have mixed emotions about Saturday’s game against England. We actually won against all odds. Our guys played some good rugby… not great but good. One thing I have seen though is how Pdivvy and the boys are praising the game plan. No matter how you coat it Pdivvy, the game plan against England was totally different to any of the previous games. Instead of mindlessly kicking the ball away we held on to it. We starved England of possession and that more than anything gave us the win.

Now my question to that is why did it have to take the coaching staff almost losing there jobs before they woke and smelled the roses? I know they make it sound like this is what they were always going to do but that is rubbish. This game plan was totally different to the previous few weeks’ rubbish we had to endure. Yes we won and for that I am grateful but unfortunately old Pdivvy and the boys get to keep there jobs! That’s just wrong!

As good as it was to see us shut England out the game there is still a lot of work to do. Morne had a good game but his running game still needs lots of work. There was also a hell of a lot of white line fever. We had so many opportunities we squandered. As nice as it was to see us try offload in the tackle our precision in this aspect needs a lot of work.

Pierre Spies was the best improvement. He carried the ball like he should, like his size, strength and speed demands! He had a very good game. Matfield take a bow, broken rib and all. You lead well and didn’t get in the ref’s face. Only disappointment for me in the game was Stegmann. He is still just not good enough. Kirchner didn’t put a foot wrong but he also didn’t look like he was going to put in a performance of note. Things did tend to look more settled once Frans Steyn moved to fullback and then inside centre… places I think he belongs. His game also improved when it did happen. Plus Adi Jacobs did look a better player at outside centre than Frans did but I still don’t think he belongs there.

Our rugby does still tend to be one-dimensional crash-and-bash stuff and when it works for you then great, we should have the upper hand. The problem is though when it comes unstuck, when your forwards don’t dominate. What then? Our game plan still needs work and our coaching staff still needs to go but we do look a better team with ball in hand.

Cheers,

Mark

Please read this:

http://www.supersport.com/rugby/springboks/news/101124/Same_plan_just_better_execution

As if trying to prove me right, Pdivvy has stated that there will be no change to the game plan. That’s a positive and a negative, firstly that there was a game plan and secondly it sucks so why change it. Well at least its official, our game plan is to give the ball to the opposition so we can practice defence (and the Lord knows we need it)!

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that the game plan doesn’t work and that no matter how you execute it (I think in Pdivvy’s thinking he means kill it), it still stays predictable and easy to read. So you could be the most accurate kicker in the world, if they know what you’re doing they have basically won the battle because they can pre-empt any attempt form you. In battle they call information the most important part. With reason!

Once again Pdivvy makes my Bee metaphor hold strong. On the other side of the glass is winning, the glass represents our strategy, the open window is our plan B. No matter how hard the bee hit the window he won’t crack it. He might crack his own head (think Pdivvy has already done this) but he won’t get through. Now any normal functioning human being will look for different approaches. Hell even monkeys in a zoo presented with a problem look for tools to help formulate new ideas just so that they can get the banana. Somehow our coaching staff and senior players feel this to be absurd. Why go a different route when winning is just on the other side of that glass? How thick must I be?!

So execute all you want Pdivvy… hopefully you get to face the firing squad when you get back.

Cheers,

Mark

I have hardly ever laughed so much as I did this morning reading some of the articles posted this morning. The one is how Pdivvy will take the conservative route and the second is how the weather might hamper the Boks game plan. Firstly these two articles are missing one big point – you actually need a direction for both to be considered. Pdivvy has never taken a route. He seems to be one of those guys who fly’s by the seat of his pants. He makes decisions on the fly, though what he would term decision the rest of us will term non-thinking. He is instinctive. The best way to describe his thought process would be to liken it to an animal. An animal doesn’t think about the future, it reacts to current events. Pdivvy does exactly that but it always seems to be in the wrong direction. Once again I liken him to a bee at a window. He will smash his head against the glass and not understand why he can’t get through.

The one about the weather was a real hoser. We never had a game plan unless you call giving possession back to the opposition and hoping that they bugger up a plan. No we have none and it has once again been clearly demonstrated in the team choice. Morne is having a shocker of a season, I know, let’s play him until he has a total breakdown in self-belief! Stegmann hasn’t managed to steal one ball at a tackle situation, exactly why I picked him! Pienaar played well against Wales and crap against Ireland and Scotland, let’s try giving him a hat-trick! Frans Steyn and Jean de Villiers aren’t gelling, they make a great pair! Spies has done wonderfully well. I mean it isn’t often you get to see someone that big go backwards with the ball that often so lets give him another go! Its excellent entertainment!

To say that the weather dictated selection is just such crap. It could have been a sunny day with no wind and he’d still pick this team because he has no backbone. He doesn’t want to give in and admit he is wrong. He is the Springbok coach after all! He is never wrong!

I wonder if Pdivvy and the boys even know what the function of the wings are? Has anyone ever bothered telling them what rugby is? At the root of it all lies SARU. The master puppeteer that has lost its own marbles. People in power who then think they know all. The same bloody idiots who have let a scrawny little high-pitched voiced man call the shots. We all know Pieter has achieved nothing as a coach himself. Now that he has to rely less on the Jake White era of players and actually coach we see his true credentials (simply put there are none). Next we have Dick Muir. He has produced nothing of value as a coach either. Yes he can spot a talent but then that’s all he can do. Coaching it is a different kettle of fish. He proved that at the Lions. Gary Gold is probably the luckiest forward coach the country has ever known. Couldn’t turn a Province unit into a formidable one so they give him the job to coach the Boks forwards. Master genius at work that is! No matter how dumb these three are and how useless they will be, there will always be someone dumber. And that by far is the people that put them there.

Doc Craven always fought against professionalism. And for a bloody good reason. So idiots with money on the mind wouldn’t take over and then try ruin everything for the sake of profits. So when will sanity prevail you ask? Hell when we find a way to reanimate the Doc! He must be turning in his grave at what is being done to his beloved sport and his beloved Boks.

Cheers,
Mark

PS: please read the source of my laughter:

http://www.sport24.co.za/Rugby/BoksOnTour/Div-takes-the-cautious-road-20101123

http://www.rugby365.com/all_news/sa/news/2666222.htm

http://www.sport24.co.za/Rugby/BoksOnTour/Snow-could-derail-Bok-gameplan-20101123

http://www.supersport.com/rugby/springboks/news/101123/Weather_dictates_Divs_latest_selection

I have read a number of stories now and seen a number of opinions. Through all this you can spot the Bulls supporter a mile away. Tell him any of his players had a shocker and you’re a Bulls hater (read Azurite’s comments below, not one an informed argument but rather an attack on character). The fact still stays the same. I feel because of Morne’s headless chicken routine (unless it is to kick at posts) and Matfield clearly aimless leadership on the day, it cost us the game. Now I am not saying that the other guys only played badly because of these two. No, I am saying that everyone had a crap game. But because of these two pivotal roles we lost. I mean even on a bad day we should have beaten Scotland.

I read an interesting piece on our “regression” (Pdivvy’s progression) on the Rugby365 website (http://www.rugby365.com/opinion/phase2/2665841.htm). Yes I agree we are going backwards and a lot of what the writer said makes sense. However I totally disagree with the Lambie debate. Taking Steyn off and bringing Lambie on cost us the game because we needed a reliable kicker. Bull! Even Steyn missed an easy one! If Lambie’s miss cost us the game and that is the faulty logic Bulls supporters cling to then in fact both Steyn and Lambie cost us the game. This is bollocks! The big difference is that when Steyn did get the ball most of his kicks downfield here aimless and shocking. All we did was give the ball back to the Scots. When Steyn did pass the ball he was standing dead still and shuffling it on, placing our entire backline under pressure. How can a backline expect to perform under such circumstances? To put it bluntly if Steyn was the All Blacks flyhalf, their backline would suck too. Lambie should have started. At least he gives direction. Hell I’d even start Jantjies before Steyn at the moment. At least we know he has a reliable boot too. Morne needs to pull up his socks. Yes everyone had a crap game. But he had the important crap one.

Matfield’s one-dimensional approach to rugby shone through this weekend. First mistake (and take it from a ref) is that he took the ref on. No matter how much you whine and moan no ref will change his decision. In fact you piss the ref off. No one likes to be called a cheater. If instead he asked for some clarification he might have got a more positive response. Hell, at least they would get some idea of what the ref was looking at and cancel it out. Matfield seemed like a bee at a window. Knocking his head against it so many times hoping to get to the other side. What we needed was a change. But instead we went on with the same old crap. We didn’t even try and attack a perceived week point in the Scottish arsenal, which apparently is that 9, 10 and 12 are not such good defenders. No our forwards bashed their forwards and their forwards won. So what does Matfield decide? Lets bash some more and hopefully they will give in. Brilliant logic!

I agree with Powachair (http://blogs.sport24.co.za/powachair/bully-beef-or-cordon-bleu), Matfield was too predictable. Make Smith captain. Someone who obviously has brains and plays with passion. Hope Smith will tell Matfield to get the work done up front instead of playing glory boy rugby in the centres or flyhalf channel. You were not picked for that position bud. There is a reason that the other guys were.

So I say make Lambie flyhalf. See what he brings to the table. His running should be more direct and his goal kicking isn’t bad. If he has a bad game then you can chirp and tell me how stupid I am all you want. But then again, we need to change our style of play. Involve the forwards less and the backline more. The biggest problem we have is that our forwards do not believe in our backs capabilities (well it either that or they want all the glory). We should attack different channels and let the creativity of de Villiers, Frans Steyn and Lambie shine through. Who knows maybe then our dangerous wings will wreak havoc. So Cry Havoc, and let slip the Dogs of War!

Cheers,

Mark

I must say it was nice of the Scots to let the world watch their training on Saturday. As we could see they were training for a wet weather game but even so their training wasn’t as smooth as it should be, considering that the defensive lines they were training against were only allowed to touch the player and not tackle. The Scots did look fired up for the session but I must say I was surprised at the blokes on the “defensive” team. They didn’t even look interested in helping the Scots practice. Shocking! How can a test team expect to handle match day situations when the training squad don’t even want to help out?

Ok I’m guessing you see this as a prod at the crap Bok performance this weekend. To have called any of those guys Springbok rugby players is tantamount to sacrilege! It was shocking… from 1 through to 21 (because player 22 never made an appearance) sucked. Actually they sucked worse than sucking! No-one had a good game. I see that Mr JJ Harmse was watching the game with his Blue Bull specs on again because in the Rapport newspaper he goes and gives Stegmann and Morne Steyn 6 out of 10’s! Please… no one deserved more than 4 out of 10!

The reason I think our front row suffered is because it was only the tight 3. Matfield was at centre and you hardly saw Bakkies anywhere. They were at least seen and the only time Matfield was present is when he was tuning the ref! Captain Fantastic proved to be Captain not-good-at-making-on-the-field-decisions. Plan A wasn’t working so in typical Bulls fashion they carried on with it hoping it would work sooner or later. I mean 3 minutes before full time and we have a free kick and we up-and-under it? WTF! Where we hoping they would stuff up so we could score a lucky try? Our back row was never in the game, mostly because we had no tight five and the Scots did. Stegmann has proved again he doesn’t even belong in the big leagues. He played no part in anything. Daniel, Smith and Alberts should play against England and finished.

Our halfback pairing was anything but a pairing. They were more like bumbling idiots trying to figure out what the square root of Pie is. Hougaard played badly, passed poorly and kicked atrociously. Morne Steyn can’t pass or run and his kicking game was up in flames. Do I think he should have been subbed with 20 minutes left? Hell no… he shouldn’t even have started!

Our centres were abysmal. They had no direction and when they do get the ball it is to crash it up. But what do you expect when you have a flyhalf who doesn’t even know what he is doing? Yes they played badly with out Morne Steyn’s help but with Morne’s help they were made to look even worse.

Our back three looked kak. All our wings could do was chase aimless kicks all day. They looked bad because they were made to look bad. I feel sorry for Mvovo and Aplon. To very talented and highly dangerous backs being reduced to mindless Zombies with one goal in mind… if Steyn and Kirchner kick, you run! How effen stupid?! We sit with deadly wings, even in the rain, and we tell them basically you’re only here to defend! Zane Kirchner kicks more up-and-unders than any other team combined. Only problem is they are crap up-and-unders that not even Usain Bolt can get to in time!

We were trying out best to give the Scots the ball and in that we succeeded. In fact it was the only thing we were good at this weekend.

However all this rubbish stem from one source with three heads. Gary Gold couldn’t coach forwards to save his life. He never managed anything with the forward pack at Province while he was there. Proudfoot takes his place and all of a sudden the WP forwards aren’t the whipping boys anymore. Gold took White’s pack and turned them from unstoppable to whipping boys in two years! Dick Muir you can’t call a name. He already has a name for what he is. He has that ability to make sure the backline throws structure out the window and run around like headless chickens. I mean he took the Lions from a bad team to a worse team. It took an ex-All Black to make them good again.

Pdivvy… the head honcho, Captain Moron, Mr Stupid, Helium Head, Admiral Dumbass… pick one. Brian Moore said so beautifully on commentary who hasn’t Pdivvy pissed off lately? Loved it! I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. He has this ability to turn sewage into a global problem. You give him someone who can run and step and kick and pass and who in top form, he’ll send them back in a straight jacket drooling! I want to swear at him in his face but I know that will do no good because he is so stupid he won’t even realise it.

However as useless and as dumbass our coaching staff is and as bad as our players currently are, all this can only be placed at the door of the biggest culprits. The people who fans sometimes forget instigated this horrible turn of events… SARU! The biggest bumbling idiot since the sport turned pro and politics became about race again.

So to SARU, with my heart felt condolences, FU for screwing up the once legendary name of the Boks by appointing clowns to run a team. In the end it was always going to become a circus!

Cheers,

Mark

What are you expecting from this game? A South African romp or disaster? I’m hoping for romp but then again the Boks might surprise me. One thing I have come to expect from the men in Green-and-gold this tour is that you shouldn’t expect much… they might disappoint you. Last week when I watched Boots and All Owen made a comment that with the skill level we have and considering the opponents we were facing (Wales) we should beat them comfortably. I agree, wholeheartedly… I, in fact, expected it. I was disappointed. So I am not going to make the same mistake again.

To harp on about the lack of well everything of the Bok coaching staff is getting a bit much now but we as rugby lovers (and not just fans) love to express our feelings about the obvious inadequacy of the brain’s trust. We should just accept the fact that they suck and hope that skill alone will pull us through games. That is what I think will happen again this weekend. We won’t steamroller Scotland and they shouldn’t (hopefully, fingers crossed) beat us. I read Tank Lanning’s blog and I agree… the Bok management don’t really know what they want. Hougaard and Kankowski have been included indicating a running approach, however with Kirchner and Morne Steyn we see a conservative approach. I do feel however that Kirchner’s inclusion is more about necessity rather than tactics. But let’s face it, with Morne Steyn at flyhalf it doesn’t matter who the scrumhalf is, the game will be slow and pedantic at the back.

Let us look at the tight five. Last week they scrummed against what is arguably the best scrummaging unit in world rugby, the Welsh unit. They did not let themselves down. The exchanges were tight, sometimes they were on top and I think when we started judging Walsh’s calls a lot better, we were getting the upper hand. So as a unit we should by all means have the upper hand against the Scots. At the lineouts we should dominate too as we all know, Matfield is king in this respect. Bakkies will do what Bakkies does best… enforce. Beast will play like his nickname suggests. Bismarck will act like an extra flank (though Stegmann negates the “extra” part), and Jannie will not let us down… hopefully. So all in all our tight five should trump their tight five.

In the backrow things will be interesting. Stegmann isn’t even worth a mention at this stage in his “lucky” Bok career. He has done nothing to warrant his selection, and that at the cost of better flanks in the country. One can’t help but wonder if Francois Louw told Pdivvy what he thought of him. He probably hates Vermuelen just because… or he wants to show to fans that we don’t know what we are talking about when we say there are better players, and then to spite his own nose chooses the not-so-good ones instead. Juan Smith will always do what Juan Smith does best, put his head down and give us a stellar performance. He is our hard man of loosies rugby. I have always rated Kanko and feel he is a better player than Spies even on his off days and Spies on his better days. Plus I feel he has improved on his physical game by miles (semi-finals and finals of the Currie Cup as evidence presented). All he has to do is bring that same hunger to the Boks and he should do great. But under Pdivvy it’s easy to get confused and look like a fish out of water… he has that special ability of bringing a player down a few notches.

In the halfback pairing things are just as interesting. Hougaard is the future. He is in your face and abrasive. He tackles like a demon, reads the game well, keeps defences honest, has a crisp pass and his boot isn’t too bad either. A great exponent for ball-in-hand rugby. But then you get Morne Steyn who will try his best (and succeed) to slow the game down, stop forward momentum and generally look decisionless on attack… unless it’s to kick the ball. Somehow I don’t see our backline, who can be dangerous, do anything in this game. If Lambie was playing I would have expected a romp. He seems to make his decisions before he even gets the ball. I’d even have given Jantjies a go as he is a great talent. Morne can only keep the scoreboard ticking… if we get penalties our way. Other than that I feel he adds no value.

Our centre pairing will fire, if Lambie our Jantjies was flyhalf. But alas. I feel Steyn should be playing inside centre anyway and Jean outside. Steyn just doesn’t have the make up of an outside centre so why waste him there. We know Jean is brilliant and he can fill that outside berth with his qualities a lot better than Frans can. Plus Frans has that boot… sorry… booooooooooot!

Our back three won’t shine because all they are ever asked to do is chase Morne’s pointless kicks and defend. Aplon proved his size is not an issue, ask Graham “Jonah Lomu” North… big guy my ass! Plus Aplon can step and weave like the best of them. He is our magic-in-a-bottle guy. I am so glad Mvovo is getting his start. If he gets good ball (hardly likely) he should have a great game. He has the talent and hopefully this will help Habana find his game again… especially if Mvovo has a good one. Kirchner, or as I like to call him “Apoo” from the Simpsons, is your normal run of the mill third choice fullback. Not bad but not good enough either. He should stop that bloody goose-step crap of his. Campese must cringe whenever he does it… he makes it look stupid.

We should beat the Scots, not comfortably but we should beat them. But who knows maybe they will surprise us yet again and lose this one, sorry I meant to say win by miles, albeit only when the right guys get on the pitch (and with Pdivvy’s substitution policies of late I don’t see that happening).

Cheers,

Mark

Well I always harp on about how stupid our coaching staff is and how stupid they will always be. They almost proved me wrong but then redeemed my non-faith in them spectacularly. Due to the injuries the Boks had and the subsequent suspension of players, three replacements have been called to join the Bok squad in Europe. They are Odwa Ndungane, Charl McLeod and Bandisu Maku… hence my “Yippee! Yippee! WTF?!” caption.

In Odwa Ndungane you have a player who hardly ever puts a foot wrong. He might not set the world alight like the Aplons, Bassons and Mvovos of our little rugby country, but he always gives a solid performance. He is always in support and always good on defence. He is what I would call Mr Dependable. He and his brother are great players and it’s a pity they haven’t got more of a chance in the green-and-gold. Good choice for a backup if you need one as he will never let you down.

Charl McLeod has had a fantastic season. I mean you must be playing really well if you can keep Rory Kockett out the team. He reads a game well, keeps the defence honest and has a quick and crisp passing game. He also has a good boot from the base. He is well rewarded for form… something new the coaches have done! They actually picked someone on form!! Actually hang on, that is like the biggest sporting news of the century!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooohooo! The coaches are waking up… oh wait…

There third choice of replacement brings the fan back down to earth and makes us shake our heads in shame. He doesn’t pick Craig Burden, who had a great season. He doesn’t pick Deon Fourie, who had a great season. He also doesn’t pick Gary Botha, who played ahead of this guy because he is better. No he picks Bandisu Maku who has played almost no rugby not only this year but almost ever. He picks on form my ass! This bull has got to stop!!! I want to call Pdivvy and the boys so many bad names that it won’t be possible for the sea to cleanse them and send me straight to hell! They are nothing short of brainless tarts! So yes this posting turns into another “How stupid are our coaches rant?!” 98% of fans will agree with me when I say that Bandisu Maku doesn’t belong anywhere near a Bok jersey… the other 2% will agree because they are ANC supporters who just happen to like rugby but no nothing of the game.

The luckiest Bok on tour isn’t Pierre Spies or Chilliboy Ralepelle anymore but a useless hooker, Bandisu Maku… though I think he is better than Chilliboy. In the end though all these idiotic things can only be placed at the door of SARU… they are still the biggest idiots of all… guess I won’t ever become a top flight ref anymore after this.

Cheers,

Mark