Labachtanai

Our source have finally gotten to the bottom of Andy Hore’s plight. The poor misunderstood genius has only acted on his great love for that iconic rasper from the 80′s, Bonnie Tyler. As he went into the zone on the team bus listening to her beautiful rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, all those years of being coached in the “dogma” of All Black rugby from the IRB’s special little black book(*) kicked in. We now know what he heard from his Black-pod really was the following:

“(Turn around) every now and then an AB needs to drill a guy and your time has come around
(Turn around) every now and then we need to show that AB are the best amongst our peers
(Turn around) every now and then I realize Mealamu is a better thug than I
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified when I see the look in his eyes

(Turn around, Welsh guy) Time to slap your head and neck apart
(Turn around, Welsh guy) Time to slap your head and neck apart

Hory needs to put you right – now is better than never
And if you put up a fight – you’ll be feeling less than clever

Uncle Paddy made it all right so us ABs can never be wrong
Together we can cheat and end with no fine

Ole Richie is like a phantom on the edge of the line (edge of the line)
Refs don’t know what to do, and Craig was always in the dark
We’re living in a free world and making our mark
IRB really need us, all right! Cheating is just our way of right

Cheating is just part of your plight!

We all know the Bokke are thugs, but the ABs ‘re coming off free

There’s nothing you can do … an open handed slap to the neck?

We all know the Bokke are thugs, but the ABs ‘re coming off free
Nothing you can do … an accidental slap to the neck?

(Turn around, Welsh guy) Time to slap your head and neck apart
(Turn around, Welsh guy) Time to slap your head and neck apart

IRB really need us, all right!

ABs will just cheat forever

And if you put up a fight
You’ll be feeling less than clever
Uncle Paddy made it all right
So us ABs can never be wrong

Together we can cheat and end with no fine

Ole Richie is like a phantom on the edge of the line (edge of the line)
Refs don’t know what to do, and Craig was always in the dark
We’re living in a free world and making our mark
IRB really need us, all right!
Old Hory’s getting off real light

Old Hory’s getting off real light

Once upon a time there was rules in Rugby
But now its padyying apart

Nothing you can say
An accidental slap to the neck?

An accidental slap to the neck?”

This is in fact a tragedy and not a travesty of justice as the media would have you believe: ($)

How, my friends, can we blame this family man, this pillar of society and above all this supreme gift to Rugby, an All Black?

They are the gods of Rugby for heaven’s sake – How dare we question a penalty that constitute only a single official match ban?

Should he even have gotten as much?

Spare a thought for his family at Christmas time – no friendly family game of rugby outside, no good-spirited open handed slap to the neck as a sign of camaraderie for his kids as they turn away to contest a ball passed by mommy!

* a wonderful 2 pager in size 15 Arial Bold: Our rules do not apply to you! (#)

# page 2 contains the reassuring words: If you should get caught, DON’T PANIC- the bans will be short and the fines will be low!

$ all this is tongue in the cheek and should not be taken seriously